"Mom, my fish is floating"

This past week after a much needed, vigorous tank cleaning one of Creighton's two remaining fish died. Whether it was the cleaning that killed him, or natural causes, we'll never know. What I do know is that this time, I chose to face this parenting "rite of passage" head on.

C: Mom, what's wrong with my fish?
Me: Well, I think he died- see him floating up there in the corner?
C: He's okay?
Me: No, he died which means he isn't living anymore. He is dead.

As I later removed the fish from the tank and threw it outside for Karen, our beloved barn cat to eat (manna from heaven-again!) I reflected on our conversation. Fresh off of two funerals in three weeks for Chad's grandparents, Creighton's great-grandparents, I thought about how this fish dying and being honest with him about it would affect him. You see, a few months ago, (after being up at all hours of the night feeding Lincoln and watching the fish- the tank light makes a perfect night light-) I threw two of Creighton's four fish outside for the cat to eat. They were getting HUGE and were some serious tank bullies to the other two fish. They also were spending all night- again, I know this b/c I was up watching them!- rooting around in the stones and making the tank a MESS. I decided they had to go. I feel bad about throwing live fish out into the snow and I am not proud of it, but I did it. And Karen spent the better part of 2 days outside licking through the snow/ice to eat them. (Again, fish manna from heaven.)

Later, when Creighton asked about his two missing fish, I told him that they went to go swim with their friends Nemo and Dory. A little white lie, but I thought it was better than...mommy got tired of your fish being mean, dirty/trampy fish and threw them out to be eaten by your cat.

As I think about this now, I realize that being honest with Creighton is definitely the best thing to do in this situation. I mean, how confusing it must be to him. Does he think that Grandpa Gnagey is just gone for a little playing with Nemo? He still talks about both of them (ggp gnagey) all the time and talks about them in "heavens." He also still talks, with confusion written all over his face-about his two fish that went to play with Nemo.

His fish dying in the tank, he gets...

the Nemo thing, not so much.